Action Alert Manifesto of the Gay and Lesbian Supremacy Network

This is a call to consciousness and action going out to all supreme queers and a warning shot across the bow of the sinking hetero ship of state. For too long we have been oppressed, suppressed, and harassed by an inferior, hetero dominated culture bent on destroying our innate and divinely given fabulousness.

WE SAY ENOUGH!!!!!!

We hereby announce our intention of waging total cultural struggle against the current, constipated hetero regime. It's time to strip the reins of power from the bumbling breeders who infest every branch of government and every public institution in this great land, polluting the political process with their boring and retarded worldview. Our fatigued and impacted culture requires an enemal flush and a therapeutic injection of queer sensibility to bring it to full vitality and freshness.

The time of the heterarchy is through! Let the new millennium bring forth a new America ruled by its rightful elite. Our civilization...indeed our entire planet has been sickened and wasted by the patriarchal, wrongheaded ideas of the reproducing classes who teach their children to hate and fear us. We say "Get over it!" You had your chance to run things and you have made a FUCKING MESS of it girlfriend! Time to wake up and smell the cappuccino. Heterosexuality isn't normal...it's cheap and common and your reckless, wanton breeding has gone too far.

We now see that our mission...our very purpose in life is to liberate the planet from the many forms of starvation resulting from the ruinous war-mongering, earth raping, and culturally imprisoning ideas spawned by the patriarchal, hetero-mentality. We must boldly sweep away the moldy, tired, and fallaciously self-aggrandizing ideas of our misguided, hetero-identified cousins who have managed to herd the entire, overpopulated culture into a breakneck race to mediocrity and shame-based, competitive consumerism. Considering their dismal track record of failed social engineering, it's time for heterosexuals to finally discard the notion that they are anything like our equals, let alone our betters. We mean pulleeeze! It's just so very plain that we are fabulous and you are not.

Yes...the funny thing is...this is what you heteros were always secretly so afraid of and why you have tried to keep us down for so long. Inside you know it's true. You have secretly said to yourselves, "how come those queers are so fabulous and I am just so not? Well at least we outnumber them and can impose upon them our wretchedly fucked up notions of sexual and cultural propriety." To the hetero who still suffers from this harmful and envious thinking we say "be not afraid", for as your eyes clear and you comprehend the true, divine nature of our benevolent cultural sovereignty you shall fall to your knees and it shall come upon you to say, "I have marched in the ranks of the fabulously challenged, yet may I be freed from the shackles of dulling conformity and shown the path of true flawlessness and spiritualized individuation that is the love gift of the supremely queer paradigm."