I can envision a lesbian being President someday Sweetie,
I really can. And perhaps I shall be Mistress of the Interior.
Sweetie. I've got content over here. Content.
Opinions, which cannot manage to pole vault the high bar of confused banality, have no place in our schools.
Oh go have a "Freedom Dip" sandwich, DIPSHIT.
Cultural conundrum? Ordering, and being served beef in an Indian restaurant. Do they cry in the kitchen?
Is Freedom Toast?
In the next election be sure to vote hetero, for a more populous, and aggressive future.
Wouldn't it be easier to wrap Bush in plastic and duct tape and create a sane foreign policy?
Well OK. But if we win, dibs on the Eastern Palace Complex.
Hey! This is a nice brain. And it's empty. I think I'll move right in.
It's starting to sound like the old Saddam and G. moron story to me.
Gnarlene Rap:
Confucius say, like this Miss Thing. An Eagle can't fly with no broken left wing.
Everyone can be fabulous. But so many won't.
I'm so glad I'm a man. Look at the stunning array of fashion choices we have. Pants and shirts. Fabulous. Who made that one up Sweetie?
I've just had laser narcissism surgery. How do I look?
Mom! George is acting like a dick and he won't get off my dress.
One good thing about the theatre of war. There are always plenty of empty seats closer to the front after intermission.
War is ookey!
Holy Fuck! … Armageddon out a here!
Patriots. Be Aware of terrorists, who are now actively recruiting and may try to pass secret messages in their seemingly ordinary correspondence. It's not always easy to see or spot but, as President George Bush says, "Be big time careful. These folks are scary, for they are a lot more smarterer than you or me and can slip in secret details and instructions quite easily."
O.K. Dad. I got all the pieces lined up right I guess. I hope this game isn't a stalemate like last one.
Don't worry son. Just don't let him castle.
OK, but after the war then can I please have some health insurance? Huh? Can I? Please?
Pretty soon maybe they'll make a bomb that's so smart it won't explode.
Are you tired of oily, military buildup staining your valuable foreign policy objectives?
Bush can't back out now. He's too close to wargasm.
Excellent Dick. Excellent. We should have the entire world destabilized by Christmas.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy. Then I look at the world and I think,, nah.
We should have Saddam give us a punch card or something. Five Iraq wars at the regular price, and the sixth one’s free.
Tweeeet! False Start. Offsides. Penalty; new resolution. America still in control of the ball…..?
I like the idea of the herd mentality, but the grazing's getting pretty slim around here.
Pssssst….. It's the overpopulation stupid.
Damn, another Gulf War and I just cancelled my CNN.
Guns are strictly for domestic insecurity these days. One hardly needs them in modern international warfare, what with MOAB bombs and all.
If the last Gulf War was "the mother of all wars", what's this one, the evil step- mother?
Confidential to G.B. in Washington,
Staging a mindless, predictable Gulf War sequel is hardly an effective way to show your superiority to Hollywood liberal types. No matter how large the special effects budget.
Gawd, will somebody please just slap the bitch and tell her she can't be President anymore!
Hey George. I say for an extra $30 billion we super-size this war and get the large freedom fries and coke.
Psssst. George Bush is keeping Arthur Anderson executives busy in prison shredding the Constitution. Pass it on.
Political Jeopardy
The answer, for $500 and the lead if you are correct: Enron, Worldcom and Haliburton.
Ring Ring
"Uh, what criminally corrupt companies doesn't the Bush administration want the public thinking about Alex?"
"I'm sorry we cannot accept that answer. Anyone else?…. No?
The answer we were looking for: What companies are role models of fiscal accountability? Let's move on to Final Political Jeopardy after these words from our sponsors."
For God was so indifferent to the world that he gave his only begotten Son up for public humiliation and slaughter, that we might have everlasting bloodshed and strife. Amen?
Republicans are like those gremlins in that movie. Except you should really try to keep them away from money.
I go through life in an amused state of despair mostly.
I proclaim myself George II, Emperor of All!
Fashion Fiasco?
"Donnatella, it looks like the hemlines are a bit higher than last war. At least on the body bags we've seen so far from the major designers."
"That's right Ralph. The trend is towards a care free, almost playful look that's so fun for spring."
Yeah, but I bet Iraq could whoop some USA butt on Survivor. Christ. They're eating rats now.
North Korea is now warming up in the Batting Cage for the second half of this double header, to the death grudge match. Bottom of the 8th, USA at bat. Iraq defending and the score remains no runs, 190,004 hits and 666 errors
I say what others only smell
Only those countries responsible enough to play with them safely should be allowed to have weapons of mass destruction.
No Sweetie, it's more like this. If I ever do meet up with that crazy bitch god of yours, I will grab her by the hair and throw her down some stairs.
OK, we can't be friends, but can I still influence you sometimes?
If war is Hell, I guess it's got loose now. I'd be keeping an eye on Mick Jagger.
Finally, I agree with the fundamentalist Christians on something. This country is going to hell in a handbasket.
If you don't question authority, pretty soon you won't be able to.
Let's see, Lapland doesn't hate us yet. How can we piss them off?
If the impotent rage and despair of Left Out America could be harnessed, it could fuel a small Cultural Revolution for an indefinite period of time, according the Centers For Mind Control.
( but don't tell anyone)
Well, as a collector and distributor of wartime memorabilia, I personally can't wait for the new war merchandise. Why do you think they call us hawks?
I wonder if the artificial limb factories are cranking up production. I hope so?
Bush is making a grave error. Too bad it's not his own.
OK. But if the Iraqi's get prescription drug coverage after this and we
don't, I'm going to scream.
