The way I see it, you got your Islamo-fascist types on the one side, and they'd like to kill many of us, and force the rest to adopt their repressive customs and beliefs. Then you got your
patriarchal
uber-protestants on the other side, who want to do about the same.
Then you got Gnarlene in the middle. I just want to make the world a lot more fabulous. Want to play in our game?
How come there are never any memorials shaped like a vagina?
Well, I suppose if we all get smallpox, that'll really put a dent in Botox sales.
(last chance for peace?)
Maybe if they just slipped all the soldiers on both sides some ecstasy, they could work out some kind of understanding.
Well I suppose it is some kind of technological milestone. We're finally able to make bombs that are smarter than the guy with the power to use them.
How about doing a charity pay-per-view with Bush and Hussein in a no holds barred, to-the-death knife fight. The winner is exiled to the country of the loser's choice! I'd watch.
Rank may have its privileges, but really, the privileged are scarcely represented at all in the ranks of the military.
I assure you soldier, we
are doing everything we can to make war safer and more fabulous for you, the
victim. It's now usually unnecessary to even engage the enemy, what with our
new long-range death bombs and such. And check out these boss
appliques on your new Nerve Suits. Marvelous!
(shocking satire from beyond the grave)
Hi there neighbor. I used to be so happy that you were my neighbor. But now I want to kill you and take over your government.
Can you say "let's just open up a hornets nest of Holy Hellfire?" I knew you could.
I think Bush1 and Bush2 are taking this father/son competition thing a little too far.
It's too bad war doesn't come with child proof packaging. I'm sure Bush would never manage to open it.
There's more Burning Bush's now than an All-Moses-Holy-Roller-Bible-Review.
So if our God's on our side, and their God's on their side, why don't we just let them fight it out and follow whoever wins.
If peace were Yellowstone National Park, George Bush would be driving a snowmobile through it. Off road!
If you have to have war to get peace, what do you have to do to get war?
Stay tuned to the polarization of America, on most of these ICU stations.
Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of BUSH/HUSSEIN, you can almost spell HEINOUS SUSHI?
(democracy in action?)
You will elect the pre-selected democratic candidate. And you will do it now! Understood?
Finally, we can lift the sanctions and start pumping that sweet, sweet oil.
I don't suppose Haliburton will be getting any lucrative contracts in Iraq now do you? Might have to launder them through a subsidiary though.
Maybe unilateralism is the way to go. Who likes vacations abroad anyway?
"You know Mr. President….France has a lot of weapons of mass destruction too."
"Don't worry Dick. They're on the short list."
Well at least I can be assured that President Bush has thoughtfully considered my viewpoints before committing the country to isolation and
economic self-destruction.
Well, maybe we did squander the good will of the World with this Gulf War II deal. But hey, we're bound to get attacked again sooner or later, and then they'll see that we're the real victims here.
Why don't we just make Iraq the 51st state? Then we can have all that sweet, sweet oil. And we've got to take care of them now anyway.
Oil Prez, Oil War. Oil Prez, Oil War. If one of those kooky, drunken daughters gets elected and does this again, I am just going to crap my pants.
Reality is becoming too much like a Far Side cartoon Sweetie.
I'd try to bring the world
together, maybe talk about the weather, if I only had a brain.
I'm somewhat surprised the NRA didn't offer the Iraqi's discount weapons to protect their Homeland Sweetie.
Now that Bush has got the bloodlust, we'll probably just have to let him taper off gradually.
Of course immediate force was necessary. Who knows what Saddam could have done surrounded by the United States military and UN weapons inspectors and all.
I love a good Gulf War, but enough already.
(Bush's shocking declaration to the World)
Hate me. Fear me. I don't care. Just don't duck when I shoot my missiles at you.
Cartoon:
A passenger in a passing car yells
"Hey
faggot, over here" while mooning Gnarlene. Continuing on her merry way
Gnarlene responds "Oh no Sweetie, I've no time for anal sex now. But thanks
for offering".
George Bush is the perfect example of what happens when you give little boys guns to play with.
“I have intentionally included from time to time what I call “safe songs” on my album so that your head doesn’t, in most cases, actually explode.” Gnarlene
WAR? I shall have none of it!
Does this mean
there’s gonna be less butter now?